


The Official Fanfiction University of POM

by pronker



Category: Penguins of Madagascar
Genre: Gen, Humor, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Indulgent, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-27 20:49:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14433798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pronker/pseuds/pronker
Summary: The Official Fanfiction University of POM is currently accepting applications for the Spring Quarter.  With the proper credentials, you, too, may write well in a Small Fandom.  E-mail applications to penguinsofmadagascar at the usual addy, you know the one that starts with z.





	1. Chapter 1

Title:  The Official Fanfiction University of POM

 

Author:  pronker

 

Era:  Three Madagascar movies welded together, TV's Manfredi and Johnson still live, so ... AU?

 

Characters:  Canon cast, some OCs.

 

Summary:  The Official Fanfiction University of POM is currently accepting applications for the Spring Quarter.  With the proper credentials, you, too, may write well in a Small Fandom.  E-mail applications to penguinsofmadagascar at the usual addy, you know the one that starts with z.

 

A/N:  Blanket permission given by the originator to expand on the Fanfiction University premise. 

 

IOIOIOIOIO

 

"You can't handle the truth."  Skipper's aquamarine gaze glinted as stony as the real gem.  "You are a mediocre writer."

 

Why did figments persist so?  Was it the one hundred degree heat?  "I make part of my living writing, so I'm ignoring you."  

 

"What, copywriting?  Break out thesaurususses and it's easy as pie cooling on a windowsill to sprinkle adjectives, baby."

 

"Pie!" Rico drooled with a look generally reserved for fish.

 

pronker gathered her strength for a comeback as she stood in line for a popular Disneyland ride.  The folks in front and back of her stood absorbed in grooving on the atmosphere or quieting children.  Disney didn't even own DreamWorks, so why were four penguins from their franchise encircling her like she was a campfire and _they_ were the vacationers roasting a marshmallow or two?  Come to think of it, she did feel a little roasted.  "You're just jealous because I'm real and you're _surreal."_

 

Private remained the kind one as always.  "Skippa, give her another chance."

 

"Sweet, naive Private, you play on my heartstrings every time.  Okayokay, leave her the application paperwork and we'll bug out."

 

Kowalski observed as astutely as always.  "We're fading, sir.  Our FastPass+ to Disneyland from DreamWorks is expiring!"

 

pronker spotted the garish Fleischer facsimile features of The Great Goofini's Barnstormer right through the penguins.  One paper airplane floated to her palm from a translucent Private before he beat a retreat to join his team.  "Phil printed this for you do wot you want with it but I quite like your stories that Phil reads to us from the Zoovenir gift shop compuuuuuuu--- "  

 

Rico upchucked an ephemeral smoke bomb and the four vanished.  She was left holding a standard 8 1/2 x 11 inch printout crinkled into a paper airplane.  The font was Calibri 11, her own favorite.  How had they known that, and how had they found her?  Did the mystical and mythical Fanlink exist after all?  The thought broke her into a sweat heavier than the one she was already in and she mopped her brow.  How good it was going to feel to swoosh through the cooler air forty feet above the ground.  Off-white short shorts, blue flip flops and a yellow halter top just didn't cut it in triple digit temps to keep her comfortable.  Eh, she'd read the thing when fun was done.

 

She shuffled through the line and when she boarded the junior rollercoaster with its smaller-than-usual cars, she sat on the paper to secure it during the thrill ride.  She went through the motions: raising her hands at the ride's peak, screaming on the downward swoop and grinning broadly at ride's end.  She tucked the airplane into her halter top to concentrate on enjoying herself.  It was likely another online course advertisement.

 

The rest of the day passed pleasantly with all fond dreams from previous visits intact.  She still wanted to live in New Orleans Square's Royal Suite and ride each attraction daily even in winter.  On the monorail whizzing back to Disneyland Hotel, she unfolded the silly airplane.  

 

**The Official Fanfiction University for POM welcomes you. You’re high-achieving, and so are we.  Our top rankings are a product of our numerous acclaimed programs across three colleges. Meet your academic match and excel away. You got this.**  
**~**

 

**Labs required in all courses to the exacting grade standards of Kowalski.  A tantalizing taste of our programs:**

 

**Underwater Biology majors must pre-qualify with Rescue Breathing For Dummies 86, Fish Tickling, and Riding Dolphins Safely.  Private shepherds all n00bs into Uni life with his characteristic tenderheartedness.**

 

**Demolition C-4 classes for the Kaboom minded offer exciting field trips guided by Rico to the latest implosions of Las Vegas defunct hotels.**

 

**For graduate students only:  Advanced Spy Ops 007 course conducted by Skipper.  Area 51 tour included.  Atlantis tour optional.**  
**~**

 

_**All students requi**_ saljjg;a; dm[-23;;k398120401k

 

pronker squinted.  My, Anaheim's super humidity meant that she had sweated onto the creases of the paper when she'd sat upon it.  Eco-friendly ink, of course DreamWorks was green as any other mega corporation, and the ink smeared right when she wanted to know what all students were required to do.  Meh.  She'd likely not be accepted anyway.  She stood up when the monorail stopped.  A lovely shower awaited in Room 2813.

 

"Dear!"

 

She turned to the sunhatted matronly person sitting with her patronly spouse in the seat behind hers.  "Hello, what --- "

 

The lady pointed.  "You've sat in something, now don't be embarrassed --- "

 

Erk.  The ink.  And she'd been trammeling all over Disneyland with a black bottom.  pronker had not blushed in years but she did today.  "Oh for corn's sake, it's ink, um, now what?"  She'd taken no purse because of the MagicBand on her wrist, which allowed payments and access everywhere with a silly salute.  She straightened the paper airplane as far as possible and applied the application to the proper place.  "Does this help cover?"

 

The gentleman handed her his souvenir sombrero.  "Take this."  He smiled in such a friendly way that pronker grinned back.  "Return it to Room 5231 when you can.  We don't leave until Thursday."

 

"You're a lifesaver!"  The pair reminded her of Mr. and Mrs. Howell from Gilligan's Island, genial aristocrats both.  She waved to them and plastered the sombrero to her posterior.  She looked neither to left nor right until she gained the safety of Room 2813.

 

IOIOIOIOIO

 

pronker finished writing with a #2 pencil and proofread her application.  Why not, she asked herself, why, indeed, not?  Attending school would be fun, promote fandom community spirit and she'd think of a third thing later. She'd meet other students online, writers like herself but with differing takes on the whole POM-verse!  Plus fan artists, there must be artists, else why would anyone attend?  There might be gamers, cosplayers, well okay, not her thing but she could chat up anyone in the fandom.  She prided herself on it.

 

Uh-oh, there was a blankety-blank misspelling!  She paused her self-talk.  Blankety-blank?  Why say blankety-blank?  Because you want to remain user friendly re the TOS, my lamb, whispered a small voice, and because you know how to cuss and how not to.  Implied cussing is ever so sophisticated-like and less crass.  She corrected the application before jogging in her Zulily ensemble to the Business Center to scan it into her laptop before emailing.

 

IOIOIOIOIO

 

**Name/nickname:**   pronker

 

**Your FF penname:** pronker

 

**Age:**   Old enough to know better and old enough not to care.

 

**Nationality:** US

 

**Physical description:** Dyed hair, brown eyes, 5'6", size 8 1/2 shoes and barely tanned skin.   A Danish heritage has its drawbacks.

 

**Personality description:**   Friendly enough.

 

**Special quirks/habits/characteristics:**   _Overuses italics._

 

**Is Hans a frenemy or outright enemy?**   Enemy.

 

**Did Hans shoot first in the raided weapons lab episode?**    Yes.

 

**Top Madagascar franchise hotties:** No one, for Peter's sake.  They're _animals._

 

**Do you have experience with maintaining Barbie-type pink beach buggies, biplanes, submarines or one-bird helicopters crafted from cake mixer beaters**?   That would be a no.

 

**What are your thoughts on zoos?** They make money after a fashion and foster interest in environmental causes.

 

**How do you feel about shipping?** If it moves, I ship it.

 

**Indicate your preferences:**

 

[X] Aliens and strange animals, including tentacles.

 

[X] Animal lore and knowledge.

 

[X] Mad swimming skillz.

 

[X] Subterranean river navigation/exploration.

 

[ ] Military service.

 

[X] Ability to synthesize both movie-verse POM and TV series POM with no sense of irony.

 

[ ] Mathematics and physics.

 

[X] History.

 

[X] Healing/medical knowledge.

 

**Finally … did Doris and Kowalski live happily ever after when the TV series ended?  How about Alex and Gia post-Madagascar 3?   Chantel Dubois and her scooter?**   pronker attached an Excel spreadsheet, flow chart, six jpegs and a timeline.

 

DISCLAIMER: I comprehend that I do not have control over how pronker writes my character. I understand that my fanfiction may be critiqued, and if that critique isn't rosy posey, I will be expected to tug on my frilly big girl panties with the double gusset and deal with it.

 

IOIOIOIOIO

 

pronker e-signed her name defiantly without capitalizing,  as usual.  There would be questions during the registrar's interview; in that, she had no doubt.

 

pronekr@zoomail.com hit Send, saw the application bounce and corrected the email addy on her end.

 

IOIOIOIOIO


	2. Chapter 2

pronker yawned and stretched.  Silly penguins, she thought.  As if a Fanfiction University actually existed.  She arose for her morning vacation routine: slopping about in baby dolls and peignoir to surf the web for one solid hour while munching the high end breakfast bars and in-room coffee that Disneyland Hotel provided.  The usual emails greeted her, one from her bank warning of an overdraft fee and one promising a lifetime supply of little blue pills in discreet packaging.  She disposed of both, there, a clear inbox!

She mused at the view of the Park from her high-rise room.  Today was the last full day of vacation and then back to the real world.  Ah me.  Lackaday.  _Nuts._ Best plan seemed to be enjoy Disneyland to the fullest after returning the sombrero to that kind couple in Room 5231.  

One email _ping_ ed.  The sender was designated Official Fanfiction University of POM.  pronker snorted, opened the email and then the world went sideways.  Ew, if this nausea didn't recede she'd need to revise her plans to staying in Room 2813 the whole day.  She nestled deeper in the array of pillows and gathered herself to read the correspondence.  

**Dear pronker, welcome to The Official Fanfiction University of POM.  We trust the conversion process left you refreshed after initial discomfort.**

Conversion to what?  pronker examined herself.  Weren't her arms and --- she opened the peignoir fully --- her legs rather shiny?  She ran her hands over her face.  An incipient zit from yesterday had disappeared and wow, she didn't remember putting on her makeup but sure enough, thick mascara lined her lashes and a swipe across an eyelid revealed blue eye shadow on a fingertip.  pronker gasped when the color vanished as she stared at it.

**Per your signed agreement, your time in the University while living on Toontown campus in Dormitory 2BRNT2B as a fully functional cartoon character promises to enrich your writing.  In other words, you will write what you know.  Please visit Room 5231 for further instructions and once again, welcome.**

Well.  That happened.  pronker dressed in record time and shot over to Room 5231.  One crazy thought occurred on the elevator and she emerged from the car to scoot down the hallway on one leg like Gumby.  That was fun!

She knocked on Room 5231, sombrero atop her head as she got into the spirit of this hallucination, because it had to be one.  "Hola, Mr. Howell," she said playfully, for indeed, the resemblance to  childhood sitcom friends ended in reality.  It _was_ Mr. Howell ushering her inside as he accepted his sombrero.

What next?  Mrs. Howell glided across Berber carpeting to greet the latest guest.  "Dahling, come in and schmooze, you know you want to.  May I present another student at POM college?  This is PDQ Bock, and I'm sure you'll get along splendidly.  PDQ, this is pronker."  She wafted away in a swirl of chiffon as another knock sounded.

"pronker, _the_ pronker?  An honor!"

As PDQ pumped her hand, pronker thought hard what to say.  The truth was best, unless a white lie were better.  She'd proceed with the truth.  "Oh, go on with you, PDQ.  I love your stories and how they are all complete before you post."

"It's a gift and a curse, you know," he said, adjusting his glasses.  "I wait weeks and days for inspiration and if I posted little by little, maybe feedback could spur me on --- "

pronker broke into his soul searching.  "Yeah uh huh, maybe.  And maybe not.  But for sure, isn't that Gemstar coming in?  She's just the way I pictured her."

Mrs. Howell indicated the little clot of POM writers with an airy wave and a giggly girl wearing a lei rushed up.  "Oh hey, you guys, I just wrote this totally random fic with ninety-six chapters and did arts for it and and and a podcast and urrything.  Wait'll I upload, you'll be faving it all over the web.  I crosspost on six sites."  Her smile exuded UV rays, pronker was certain.

"I'm sure we will."  Who could dampen such goodwill and enthusiasm for a Small Fandom?  Not I, thought pronker.

PDQ reserved judgment.  "I like your art well enough, but how can you draw and write the penguins as human?  It's against canon."

Large cartoony tears welled in Gemstar's eyes as her lips quivered.  "So that's what doe eyes look like," said pronker before she thought.

"Oh you meany!  It's the spirit of the team that counts, all my reviews say so.  Don't like, don't read."  Gemstar crossed her arms and turned away.

"Gemstar, your bravery in posting gets a thumbs up from me," offered a gloved and cloaked man as he insinuated himself into the group.  "I foresee your heartfelt talent will shape your future in Fanfiction University and that you shall become a Dean."  He took Gemstar's arm in the gentlest fashion and turned her to face PDQ and pronker once more.  "Be bold, my dear."

"Watch the handiness, fella, Cassandra won't like that."  pronker did a double take.  "Phantom Stranger!  My comics hero, oh gosh --- " she trailed off.  "Wait a second, you're from DC, so how are you here?"  She looked over the room.  There in a corner gathered a mixed group of seven authors in scruffy World War II uniforms, surely inspired by Hogan's Heroes and Rat Patrol?  She couldn't remember their names but she had enjoyed reading their works.

And what was with the humongous set of folks in Star Wars costumes by the plate glass windows, all chatting animatedly --- pronker giggled to herself at the appropriate word but continued --- when they weren't demonstrating lightsaber moves?  They comprised the largest delegation because she discerned Rosethorn, the artist, yes that had to be her among the most colorfully dressed, and a few guys in tees, sandals-with-socks, and board shorts who looked to be staffers on websites.  Perhaps they attended a Star Wars Fanfiction University to gain insights on those who posted stories and artwork on their individual sites?  _Was_ there a Star Wars Fanfiction University?

Phantom Stranger answered her unspoken questions, mostly omniscient, mostly always.  "Room 5231 in the Disneyland Hotel occupies a special fanspace.  Mr. and Mrs. Howell ease the way into Uni in the fashion of Private, who will conduct you after the party to your rooms at the dorm set aside for POM.  You've moved to the multiverse of fandoms, Miss pronker, each with its University.  Yes, animé, cartoons, comics, TV, film, books, and media yet unknown share fandom peace here.  Your privileges to meet and greet everyone remain for the length of your studies."  He grinned.  pronker couldn't remember him smiling or laughing in the comics.  

"So, Phantom Stranger, are we canon characters?  Do real cartoon characters like Skipper or Kowalski see us as human or characters in their universe, like King Julien?  I'd like to be seen as King Julien XIII."  PDQ had a thing for canon that pronker appreciated.

"King Julien would not be accepted to University.  Nobody would instruct him."  The smile widened.  "And I'm not really Phantom Stranger, you know.  I'm DarkClark.  I just like the cloak and glove effect that PS rocked."

"Loved your one-shot holiday story, m'man.  You're another author who completes his stories, good for you."  DarkClark's pleasure at the words was a delight to see and pronker thought that verbal comments in this fanspace were kudos, likes, pluses, reblogs, hearts, and actual typed replies all rolled into one.  She could grow to like it here.

Gemstar bent to retrieve a fallen flower from her lei.  The two men went into high alert as quickly as emotions changed in cartoon worlds.  "Uh oh, Howlers on the prowl and here comes the VTBS convention," warned DarkClark.  "Watch out for your heinies, ladies, you know how servicemen get grabby."  He and PDQ Bock formed a perimeter around the females as best they could.

Gladhanding, backslapping and salutes abounded as the Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea seamen front collided with the Sgt. Fury and His Howling Commandos squad.  Hits against inaccuracies in uniform and different branches of the services' history usually got spiked over the net in such meet ups of fanficcers.  This time was no exception.

MongolianLamb touted her World War II knowledge.  "Designer Karl Probst donated his design for the prototype Jeep to his country, what a guy.  The Howlers owe him a beer."

RevanStinger flaunted her Navy lore.  "Subs tied a broom to the conning tower when they came back into port after sweeping the seas clean of targeted enemy subs, no I don't know what brand of broom.  It wasn't Walmart, for sure."

PDQ Bock drifted to the Voyage To The Bottom of The Sea fandom's prolific author.  "Walmart didn't exist until --- "  

pronker rolled her eyes.

DarkClark let down his guard.  "Aw, you ladies are safe as you want to be.  Gemstar, how about a non-alcoholic drinkie poo?"  

"Totally!"  Gemstar simpered as she took his arm after he swept his cloak around her.  They strolled towards the refreshments table where Gilligan had been entrusted with pouring drinks.

pronker floated to the balcony of the suite like The Blimp from the Inferior Five, propelled by a tail wind from all the hot air being generated in the room.  She anchored herself by clamping a hand on the railing.  Disneyland spread before her, a little hazy in the distance.  Was it smog or the animator's laziness in rendering a background?  It didn't matter.  What counted was that she lived in Toontown as a real cartoon, oxymoronish as that sounded. 

Next day, classes would start.

This place was her Favorites list come to life.  The mystical Fanlink between the internet and fandoms existed to bring her to this wonderland.

pronker decided to bloom where she was planted.

IOIOIOIOIO

The End.

IOIOIOIOIO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by MissCam's [The Official Fanfiction University of Middle-earth.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/450365/chapters/772036)


End file.
